So last night I went to a party. It actually ended up being a lot of fun. I, however do feel kind of dumb. You see I drank way too much. I wasn’t falling down or throwing up or anything like that, but I did pass the point where it was enjoyable, and the cab ride home was terrible. I share the driver was going like two hundred miles and hour. Presently I feel fine, great actually given how much I drank last night. I was up early and I went jogging (briefly) and I had breakfast, and I’ve subtly tried to wake me friends who crashed in my basement (I haven’t actually succeeded yet, but I’m going to keep trying).
Come on guys WAKE UP! I just want to curl up with my hangover and a pot of coffee and watch 90’s sitcoms all day!!!! (you know you’re jealous of my life)
I don’t want to go down and shake them awake because then I’d feel like a total asshole, so I’ve been doing things to try and make them get themselves up. Like opening the door loudly in the hopes that that’ll spur them into wakefulness, I’ve been talking to me cats ("I’ve been talking to my cats" now there’s a line you don’t want to say in public), and making coffee—personal side note, I really don’t like when other people wake me, usually I just get myself up, but if you are ever trying to wake me coffee is the secret. Just make a fresh pot and sort of waft the fumes toward me and I’ll be up pretty quickly— I’ve also done a load of laundry, nothing will wake these two up. What else have I done in my fruitless attempts to wake them… I sent like thirty texts to one of them hoping that the constant pinging would rouse them, then I realized her phone was off, the battery died last night. My latest passive-aggressive wake up tactic was to march down stairs throw pennies at them and then flip on the ceiling light. That, I figured, would surly wake them. Nope, nothing.
What do you suggest I should do next? I sort of like the idea of throwing more pennies at them. Oh! Maybe hot pennies!
I’d love it if you’d share your own morning-after-the-party stories with me. my ask box is right here →